Appreciative!

In dealing with this impending surgery, I have been finding myself thinking..... A LOT! My mind has constantly been wandering all over the place! Stop it mind! My mind is just doing it's own thing, "minding" it's own business.... haha I crack myself up. Anyway I have been pondering a lot of different things. Mostly how I would want things to go if I don't make it through the surgery.... I most likely will, but its still super hard to not go there. I find myself just watching my kids more. Not really caring so much what they are or aren't doing, but just watching them. You little guys are amazing! Seriously, the most amazing, funny, sweet, kind, little goofballs I have ever had the pleasure of knowing! Also between, emails, facebook messages, little notes, and talking to people I have realized how many awesome, kind, generous, and supportive people we have been blessed with knowing! We have almost a full month of dinners already set up for us! We have babysitting offers coming out of our ears! So many people just saying, "call us anytime, to do anything, and we will be there!" It brings me to tears thinking about the blessings God has been flooding our life with lately!  I just wanted to write this little post so that I could look back and remember how i feel right now. A little terrified, yet peaceful and so overwhelmed by God's presence and the love He is sending us through friends and family! Truly amazing! I love the Universal Church!

Praying I can stay in a peaceful state as we get closer and closer to the big day!

Praying my babies and Kevin know how much they mean to me! Really I am not afraid about the surgery because I am scared of the pain or the recovery, or scared of dying even! I am truly only afraid for one reason..... I don't want to leave my little family I have fallen so very deeply in love with! I write this with tears in my eyes! Kevin, Zelie, George,  Timothy  I would give my life for each one of you! I always strive to be my absolute best, not for my sake, but for yours! You 4 mean everything to me and if by some off chance I don't make it, never ever forget how much I love you and NEVER stop being joyful and happy!

 

"Joy is the net of love by which you can catch souls! A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love!"- Bl. Teresa of Calcutta

Z with beautiful long "Punzel" hair

 

 

On top of the appreciation this has given me for all the wonderful people in our lives, it has given me the little reminder we all need every now and than..... Any day could be our last! I am really focusing on living in the moment, laughing with my family, playing a  board game instead of worrying about the load of laundry, going to the park more, walking in the sunshine, enjoying and laughing about anything and everything! I cant' really explain it, but I feel the most terrified and the most at peace I have ever felt.... at the same time!

 



 

 

 

Prayer has saved my sanity! After this is all over I hope I continue to pray as much as I have been lately! I am so thankful to be Catholic and be a member of such a beautiful thing!

 

"Prayers is a wine that makes glad the heart of men!"- St Bernard of Clairvaux

 

I think I will go have some "wine" right now and maybe some real wine later! ;)

 

Blessed Jacinta Marto- Pray for us!